Not Now

red-thread1Sit on the corner, getting busy by myself. Download movies, musics, write blog, chit chat on social media, nothing special. But I love this, my life. Some friends told me that I need person called “boyfriend” or “my man.” Ya, I said “yes” to her/him, but not know. I know I will meet him someday, I will see him see my eyes, wipe my cheek, hug me, kiss me.

Once again I said, not for now. I’m still getting along with my book, task, and of course my happiness. “I like my space” like Tori Kelly’s said on “dear no one” song. I like to having fun with my way. Wasting my time for doing nothing, don’t care about phone for hours because reading favorite novel, and afraid about future and being bad mood. I can’t imagine how would it be when I should worrying about future while I should fix my relationship with my boyfriend or my man too. What would it be when I’m on the other world and my phone’s ringing every 5 minutes? Hmm.. not for now.

Yeah it’s make me so jealous when I should eat by myself on canteen while you guys giggling with your boyfriend. How can I’m not jealous when rain’s come and you have your boyfriend’s jacket to cover you from rain, but me? Oh I love rain and I forget to bring my coat. Birthday? Hah. Valentine? I can buy chocolate by my self, thanks.

That’s just the sweet thing. I have “sweet thing” too. I can go wherever I want without “spying boy”, I can do whatever I want without afraid will have “fight” with my man, I can say “I love to ….” anyone without someone’s getting mad, I can spent all of my time with all the way I want without anyone rules except parents and God.

They told me that I need someone sharing for. What? Really? I have my Family (including my parents / bapak+ibuk; my brother; my sister; my grandpa; my grandma; aunts; uncles; nephews, so on), I have best friends, I have friends, I have great neighbors, friendly teachers. Is that not enough? Really? So, if I have boyfriend that’s just add ONE number of my list. So it’s not a big deal.

But I don’t say that I don’t want to have boyfriend. Of course I want, but not now. Someday I will. Meet that great man who make me feel special, and make me think that wasting my time with him as worth as I read my favorite novels. He will love me like Evan Jefferson love Eleanor Holmes. Yeah they’re not real, but I fall in love with Evan as much as Ellen does. Hmm.. not now. I will get my own Evan, that’s my own Evan Jefferson. But I will get my real Evan Jefferson someday. I will. So please guys don’t worry about me. Don’t worry about me mom, dad. You’ll be grandad and grandma, someday, not now. 😀

I’m happy now, and always be. 😀 I love you guys 😀


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