Addiction

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I step aside from the alcohol

Throw all of the drugs that made me high

Forget about pub and wine

No more tequila no more coke

 

It’s like drowning

Try to reach the land while I can’t move from blue ocean floor

Panic attack while everything is fine

My heart is racing in the middle of the crowd

Thousand of eyes fill me with dizziness

That’s like they stab me right on my stomach, over and over

 

I’m crying, I need my vodka or give me gin and tonic

Give me heroine

It’s my addiction

I need to feel that drug flowing in my blood

And went to my brain

Make a world I can live in, peace and high, fly and smile

 

I need my happiness

But time told me to stop

They bind my hand and put me in the middle of traffic

They love to see me shouting, panicking

They laugh at my face

 

I cry out loud, and they still laugh

I close my eyes, wishing dead at that time

I try to reach a little razor beside me

Try to cut my vein

Try to shed my blood

 

But there is a light that blind me

I saw two wings and the peace of rain forest

He touch my hand, smile at me

Take the razor and hold me

Hug me

They stop laughing, and look at his beautiful appearance

They are in shock, and suddenly I can read their faces

“Why he took the broken girl?”

 

I’m in shock too, why he give his hand for me

He brings me to the sky

Made me looking at his peace aura

The peace of rain forest

 

He shows me his beautiful palace

Give me the special place

The precious one

 

He treats me well, he treat my addiction

He always be there, be near

He helps me to heal

He is still there although I’m at my worst condition, disgusting, and stink

He wipe my vomit, he cleaned my blood

And he still hug me, let me feel his rain forest aura

 

One day I saw him sitting in front of his grand piano

He close his eyes and feel the music

He plays the beautiful noises

Then he saw me

I smile, he smile, he got up and take my hand

He plays the music again and ask me to dance

 

He can do magic, he makes the piano played by itself

Then he starts to touch my hip, lead me to dance

I’m impressed by his gentle touch, I’m impressed by his look

He look at my eyes, and I never saw this kind of beautiful look

He touch my cheek and kiss me

 

The time stop when his lips on mine

Sweet is the taste of his mouth

He came to my neck then look into my eyes

He asks me a permission

Try to explain that he didn’t try to take an advantage of a broken girl

I look at his eyes deeply, smile, I kiss his eyes

 

Right now, he is everything I want

And he want me too

A moment later I feel every inch of his skin

I feel him inside me

I feel his breath on my neck

And that’s how we are going trough the night

 

Then

The first time I open my eyes again

He is staring at me, smiling

Telling me how he loves to look at me while I’m asleep

I look back at him

And I realize I’m on my addiction again

But now, not drugs and alcohol

He is my new addiction

His love is my new drugs

His touch is my new tequila

His kiss is my new coke

His music is my new heroine that flow on my blood

I remember about my panic attack, I remember the time before I got healed

I remember the time before he hold me

What if I will be on that place again

What if I will lost him on the future

No, I don’t wanna think any of that now

 

Let me be on my drugs phase

Let me taste my drugs

Let me drink my alcohol

Let me be with him

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nadhirulmaghfiroh

Hi, I'm me. Who am I? Read me. :P

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