It’s so easy to shut the noise outside, but how do you kill the toxic whisper inside your head? The one that keep telling you are a failure. The one that kept you thinking you are going nowhere but your grave. The one that always mock your steps. You don’t go towards the light, you keep drowning into abyss and feel sorry for it.
Then a voice said, “A bigger tree needed more time to grow. And once they grow, it will stand taller and stronger for centuries.”
And again, another voice screaming, “You know that means nothing! You might be the big tree they mentioned. You might also the fail-seed. The one that won’t grow at all!”
“Look at the storm inside your head, you can’t even own it! You can’t even shut it down, so how dare you desire to stand tall?”
“I just want a peaceful life. I don’t ask for the glorious throne. I just want to see them smile, while I am laying by the sand.”
Another voice begin to say, “God won’t burden anyone beyond their capabilities. He gives you this spectacle because you can fix it. You are strong.”
“But I never asked to be strong. I don’t wanna be the strongest soldier. I just want to feel peace. I am tired of all this battle inside my head.”
———
“Don’t stop, there’s still a lot to do
Look at the photo of your parents, providing for you
You’re the mirror to your younger siblings, you’re the star of your family
Only when you cut back on your sleep,
Can they peacefully sleep
Hey you idiot, don’t make it obvious
Be strong, I know you’re lonely
But you need to get through it,
Are you crying? Be a man
Stop crying and take responsibility once more”
And you are there weeping, hiding. Beating yourself. And the voices keep demanding you to be on top in a second.
“Just let me breath“
nadhirulmaghfiroh 