Hey first born, you always write something about other people nor for other people, and you barely write about and for yourself. So here is a lil letter for you.
Hey first born, how are you? I know you feel fine nowadays. I just wanna say thank you, for giving us chances to breath every day. I know how you want everything to be done in a certain way. When I say certain way, it means fast and perfect. That’s why most of the time you didn’t even let yourself to breathe. And lately, you begin to understand how to take a break.
You always give at least an hour for us to breath. It’s either going for a ride, yoga nor swimming. We know we like that. And we understand how those little things have big impacts for our mind. Thank you for that.
I am also happy that you finally get your groove back, after years of being dead inside. See, you can live without the person you thought as your safe place. Because now you know, he is not the safe place. YOU are the safe place!
And see how good it is to be as free as you are now. All those travels, late night dates, even late night works. I have never seen you this comfortable with your life.
Hey first born, stop feeling you are not enough. You are enough! We might not laugh as loud as Kim Soo Hyun in Crash Landing on You. We probably not as free as the laziest cat could be. But we are on the right lane and we keep walking.
And at this point, we know we can always rise after falling. Look at the sun, it always rise in the morning right? Even tho you never saw it! Haha.
I know you are anxious about next month, just think that well you are always anxious about the next day, why bother to think about next month? Let us anxious about the next day instead. Just like everyday.
And if you wanna eat something, just eat it. You want those clamps? Buy it. You want that chicken nor steak? Let’s eat it. It’s good right to finally out of the woods?
Hey first born, thank you for taking care of us everyday. I am so proud that you got back on the floor after 5 months. Well, I should thank Treasure and your motivation to meet them too, but this time I wanna focus on you.
Don’t worry too much about your loved ones, you know you have been through the same lane with them. And see you survived right? They will know how to survive and learn how to stay alive too. So, this is the time where they learn how to survive. Let them. You are here to supervise.
Hey first born, I know your decision about ‘that’ is final. I am happy for it. I am happy with whatever you want. I know you are mature enough to take the decision. And you know, the Sagittarian will take a good turn if you changed your mind. We are all here for you.
And hey, don’t feel too guilty when you attend a party. You deserved to be happy too. It’s not like you do it everyday right?
Dear first born, last but not least, thank you for being the first born. I know you were not meant to be the first born, and how you got brokenhearted when you knew you had brothers. Yes 2. And you always imagine what if they survived and you become the youngest.
Then your brothers have cool job like painter or writer or marine scientist, and they give you a lot of money every month so you dont have to work your ass off everyday. Hahahahaha. And they have friends, hot friends who look like Daesung, or Jeongwoo, or Gong Yoo. Hahahahaha. Let’s all laugh here.
Anyway, thank you for staying alive and finally feel alive. I love you so much my dear self.
nadhirulmaghfiroh 